militantgoat (militantgoat) wrote,

take up spoons

Some of you may not have noticed but the Fallopian national team is not present at this year's World Cup. This is not, as the media would have you believe, a failure on their part to qualify. The Fallopian national football team has been the subject of a visicious victimisation scheme and one which must be brought to light.

In short Fallopia were disqualified from the competition by the way of a minute FIFA sub-clause ruling which does not allow wooden spoons over 6' on the pitch. No self-respecting Fallopia, especially not a sporty one would go anywhere without their giant woodenspoons which everyone knows must be 6'1'' long. By way of some minutia in subsection 113(c)(1)(A) FIFA are claiming that this extra inch of wood turns the wooden spoons from their innocuous position as an implement in a traditional game to a piece of viscious weaponary.

Dear friends, it is on this minor detail alone that our beloved football team have been disqualified from this important international sporting arena. I call on you all to boycott this shambolic competion in solidarity with your fellow Fallopians. Although the egg and spoon race will always remain the national sport of Fallopia, the warm-centred Fallopia people are always willing to accept new interests into the region and swimming has recently proven popular. The World Cup is football's chance to make its dint in Fallopia and we must unite in this blatant discrimination currently being experiences by our nations sporting heroes.

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